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6370
VISITORS
First breath 11*06*86
Final breath 05*25*05
Final breath 05*25*05
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.
Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.
Today, today, today
Today, today, today.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again some day
Someday, someday...
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.
Today, today, today
Today, today, today.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again some day
Someday, someday...
CHOICES
God could have stopped you as you picked up the gun,
by gently whispering, "It's not your time son".
Just willing you to put the gun away
and face the challenge of another day.
But He knew that your spirit was sadly broken
although the words had never been spoken.
He also knew that you were seeking his face
and the promise of life in a better place.
So as a tear rolled from his eye,
He whispered, "I'll just be standing by
I will not encourage nor interfere,
just feel my presence standing near.
For with all the miracles I can do,
I must leave this choice up to you.
If you feel that you just cannot go on,
I'll welcome you to your Heavenly home.
Though I would prefer that you could stay
to follow my life's plan for another day.
But I cannot promise all joy and wealth,
or great happiness or robust health.
If you do not have the strength to carry on,
maybe it is time to come to Heaven's home".
The boy breathed a heavy sigh
and said, "I can no longer try"
As the trigger was pulled he heard a soft voice
"It's not my will son--but I accept your choice"
God could have stopped you as you picked up the gun,
by gently whispering, "It's not your time son".
Just willing you to put the gun away
and face the challenge of another day.
But He knew that your spirit was sadly broken
although the words had never been spoken.
He also knew that you were seeking his face
and the promise of life in a better place.
So as a tear rolled from his eye,
He whispered, "I'll just be standing by
I will not encourage nor interfere,
just feel my presence standing near.
For with all the miracles I can do,
I must leave this choice up to you.
If you feel that you just cannot go on,
I'll welcome you to your Heavenly home.
Though I would prefer that you could stay
to follow my life's plan for another day.
But I cannot promise all joy and wealth,
or great happiness or robust health.
If you do not have the strength to carry on,
maybe it is time to come to Heaven's home".
The boy breathed a heavy sigh
and said, "I can no longer try"
As the trigger was pulled he heard a soft voice
"It's not my will son--but I accept your choice"
Last night while I was trying to sleep.
Scott's voice I did hear.
I opened my eyes and looked around but he did not appear.
He said, you’ve got to listen. You've got to understand;
God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand.
When I cried out in pain that day, the instant that I died,
He reached down and took my hand, and pulled me to his side.
He pulled me up and saved me, from the misery and pain
My body so badly wounded I could never be the same.
My search is finally over now, I've found happiness within.
All the answers to empty dreams, and all I might have been.
I love you all and miss you ....so....please don't keep asking why.
My bodies gone forever, but my spirit will never die!
So live until we meet again, and please try to understand
God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand.
Scott's voice I did hear.
I opened my eyes and looked around but he did not appear.
He said, you’ve got to listen. You've got to understand;
God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand.
When I cried out in pain that day, the instant that I died,
He reached down and took my hand, and pulled me to his side.
He pulled me up and saved me, from the misery and pain
My body so badly wounded I could never be the same.
My search is finally over now, I've found happiness within.
All the answers to empty dreams, and all I might have been.
I love you all and miss you ....so....please don't keep asking why.
My bodies gone forever, but my spirit will never die!
So live until we meet again, and please try to understand
God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand.
I'VE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN KEEP GOING LONG AFTER YOU THINK YOU CAN'T
I'VE LEARNED THAT FRIENDS AND RELATIVES CAN BECOME STRANGERS, AND STRANGERS CAN BECOME FRIENDS,
I'VE LEARNED THAT IGNORANCE ISN'T AN EXCUSE FOR THE LACK OF COMPASSION
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER, EVER, "GET IT"
I'VE LEARNED THAT THE COMMUNITY OF SORROW IS THE STRONGEST OF ALL.
I'VE LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD YOUR HEART IS BROKEN THE WORLD DOESN'T STOP FOR YOUR GRIEF,
I'VE LEARNED THAT YOUR LIFE CAN BE CHANGED IN A MATTER OF MINUTES,
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME OF THE PEOPLE YOU CARE MOST ABOUT IN LIFE ARE TAKEN FROM YOU TOO SOON,
I'VE LEARNED YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LEAVE LOVED ONES WITH LOVING WORDS. IT MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU SEE THEM,
I'VE LEARNED THAT LOVE ISN'T MEASURED BY THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU HAVE WITH SOMEONE,
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME SORROW IS SO DEEP THAT IS HAS NO WORDS, BUT SO IS LOVE!
AS MY HEART ACHES EACH DAY, LOOK AT THE STARS AS SMILES FROM THE MANY ANGELS THAT HEAVEN HOLDS. THANK YOU SCOTTIE FOR BEING PART OF MY HEART THAT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER.
I'VE LEARNED THAT FRIENDS AND RELATIVES CAN BECOME STRANGERS, AND STRANGERS CAN BECOME FRIENDS,
I'VE LEARNED THAT IGNORANCE ISN'T AN EXCUSE FOR THE LACK OF COMPASSION
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER, EVER, "GET IT"
I'VE LEARNED THAT THE COMMUNITY OF SORROW IS THE STRONGEST OF ALL.
I'VE LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD YOUR HEART IS BROKEN THE WORLD DOESN'T STOP FOR YOUR GRIEF,
I'VE LEARNED THAT YOUR LIFE CAN BE CHANGED IN A MATTER OF MINUTES,
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME OF THE PEOPLE YOU CARE MOST ABOUT IN LIFE ARE TAKEN FROM YOU TOO SOON,
I'VE LEARNED YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LEAVE LOVED ONES WITH LOVING WORDS. IT MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU SEE THEM,
I'VE LEARNED THAT LOVE ISN'T MEASURED BY THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU HAVE WITH SOMEONE,
I'VE LEARNED THAT SOME SORROW IS SO DEEP THAT IS HAS NO WORDS, BUT SO IS LOVE!
AS MY HEART ACHES EACH DAY, LOOK AT THE STARS AS SMILES FROM THE MANY ANGELS THAT HEAVEN HOLDS. THANK YOU SCOTTIE FOR BEING PART OF MY HEART THAT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER.
You killed yourself and didn't think of us.
I can't blame you for that, and yet I do,
For now your pain becomes our legacy.
What agony impelled you not to be?
We loved you-wasn't that enough for you?
You killed yourself and didn't think of us,
Nor saw through our eyes what you made us see, nor cared about our lifes when yours was through.
And now your pain becomes our legacy,
And we must fight to keep our sanity,
For what you did defines what must be true:
You killed yourself and didn't think of us.
I cannot think you did it selfishly;
So great a sacrifice leaves nothing due.
But now your pain becomes our legacy,
And we must sail across that bitter sea
That leaves no trace of joy or residue.
You killed yourself and didn't think of us,
So now your pain becomes our legacy.
I can't blame you for that, and yet I do,
For now your pain becomes our legacy.
What agony impelled you not to be?
We loved you-wasn't that enough for you?
You killed yourself and didn't think of us,
Nor saw through our eyes what you made us see, nor cared about our lifes when yours was through.
And now your pain becomes our legacy,
And we must fight to keep our sanity,
For what you did defines what must be true:
You killed yourself and didn't think of us.
I cannot think you did it selfishly;
So great a sacrifice leaves nothing due.
But now your pain becomes our legacy,
And we must sail across that bitter sea
That leaves no trace of joy or residue.
You killed yourself and didn't think of us,
So now your pain becomes our legacy.
I have not turned my back on you,
So there is no need to cry,
I am watching you from Heaven,
Just beyond the morning sky;
I have seen you almost fall apart,
When you could barely stand,
I asked the Lord to comfort you,
And I watched him take your hand.
He told me you were in more pain,
Than I could ever be,
He wiped his eyes and swallowed hard,
Then gave your hand to me;
Although you may not feel my touch;
Or see me by your side,
I've whispered that I love you,
While I wiped each tear you cried.
So there is no need to cry,
I am watching you from Heaven,
Just beyond the morning sky;
I have seen you almost fall apart,
When you could barely stand,
I asked the Lord to comfort you,
And I watched him take your hand.
He told me you were in more pain,
Than I could ever be,
He wiped his eyes and swallowed hard,
Then gave your hand to me;
Although you may not feel my touch;
Or see me by your side,
I've whispered that I love you,
While I wiped each tear you cried.
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your
back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your
back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know
Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?
Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?
Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say I love you son?
Did no one see the writing on the wall?
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know
Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?
Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?
Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say I love you son?
Did no one see the writing on the wall?
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here
So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do
But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here
So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do
But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There's no understanding what you did,
Or why, or what we now should think or do:
No way to see what your last sorrow hid.
What unimaginable agony amid
Our ordinary lives unraveled you?
There's no understanding what you did,
No way for you to tell us why you rid
Yourself of us and family, and . . . who?
No way to see what your last sorrow hid.
Whether mere curiosity had bid
You to sneak ahead a lethal view;
No way to see what your last sorrow hid,
Nor penetrate that awful, granite lid
That lies between our thoughts and what is true.
There's no understanding what you did,
No way to see what your last sorrow hid.
Or why, or what we now should think or do:
No way to see what your last sorrow hid.
What unimaginable agony amid
Our ordinary lives unraveled you?
There's no understanding what you did,
No way for you to tell us why you rid
Yourself of us and family, and . . . who?
No way to see what your last sorrow hid.
Whether mere curiosity had bid
You to sneak ahead a lethal view;
No way to see what your last sorrow hid,
Nor penetrate that awful, granite lid
That lies between our thoughts and what is true.
There's no understanding what you did,
No way to see what your last sorrow hid.
When life becomes too much to bear
With only pain in sight...
Some folks make the choice to die,
By taking their own life. In just one moment, all is lost,
And nothing can replace...
The broken hearts of loved ones dear,
Or the tears that stain their face.
Yet somehow they get through it,
With the grace of God, they do...
Time can heal the deepest wound,
and bring new peace to you. You'll never know the reason
And it's not for you to say...
But God responds to every need; Just trust He'll make a way.
It Wasn’t My Intention
It wasn’t my intention to go before the coming dawn
My pain was deep within my heart and troubled head
It wasn’t my intention to go without words said
It wasn’t my intention not to see another day
I did not mean to make you suffer or cause you so much pain
It wasn’t my intention to never see you again
It wasn’t my intention to suddenly close life’s door
If only I could give you reasons and brush the tears away
It wasn’t my intention to leave you and not stay
It wasn’t my intention to leave you, forever asking why
As the burden of life’s worries slowly ebb from my heart
It wasn’t my intention to tear your soul apart
It wasn’t my intention to go before the coming dawn
My pain was deep within my heart and troubled head
It wasn’t my intention to go without words said
It wasn’t my intention not to see another day
I did not mean to make you suffer or cause you so much pain
It wasn’t my intention to never see you again
It wasn’t my intention to suddenly close life’s door
If only I could give you reasons and brush the tears away
It wasn’t my intention to leave you and not stay
It wasn’t my intention to leave you, forever asking why
As the burden of life’s worries slowly ebb from my heart
It wasn’t my intention to tear your soul apart
THE BROKEN CHAIN
We little knew that morning;
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to loose you,
you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You're always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
We little knew that morning;
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to loose you,
you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You're always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
TONIGHT HE LAID HIMSELF TO SLEEP
BROKE PROMISES HE COULD NOT KEEP
LEFT THE LONELY WORLD TO SHARE
ALL THE PAIN HE COULD NOT BARE
BROKE PROMISES HE COULD NOT KEEP
LEFT THE LONELY WORLD TO SHARE
ALL THE PAIN HE COULD NOT BARE
The family that loved him are left behind,
who should have had a voice but it was denied.
He was silent in his decision,
his choice is now their prison.
A sister regrets the last words said,
with nothing but pictures surrounding his bed.
A dad whose heart breaks at the mention of his name,
a father whose life will never be the same.
A mother who will forever carry an image in her head,
of finding her baby !!!
This is the reality of those left behind,
this is the reality of a suicide.
We share our story of our world full of grief,
it may fill you with sadness, shock and disbelief.
Please hear these words that I have to say,
so your not walking in my shoes one day.
Suicide is final and there is no way back,
don't let knowledge be something you lack.
who should have had a voice but it was denied.
He was silent in his decision,
his choice is now their prison.
A sister regrets the last words said,
with nothing but pictures surrounding his bed.
A dad whose heart breaks at the mention of his name,
a father whose life will never be the same.
A mother who will forever carry an image in her head,
of finding her baby !!!
This is the reality of those left behind,
this is the reality of a suicide.
We share our story of our world full of grief,
it may fill you with sadness, shock and disbelief.
Please hear these words that I have to say,
so your not walking in my shoes one day.
Suicide is final and there is no way back,
don't let knowledge be something you lack.
Reality of a Suicide
A baby boy sent from God above,
to give joy and share his love.
God sent Angels to bring him home to Heaven,
at the tender young age of eighteen.
His time on earth was much to brief,
yet his heart was too filled with grief.
He felt the decision was his to make,
should he struggle on or make the break.
Break free from the sadness and escape his pain,
which choice would be for his better gain.
He had his share of troubles and woes,
What his final breaking point was only he knows.
No threats no words did he ever say,
about the choice he made on that tragic day.
Just a short note, a few last good byes,
he went off alone with his choice to die.
A baby boy sent from God above,
to give joy and share his love.
God sent Angels to bring him home to Heaven,
at the tender young age of eighteen.
His time on earth was much to brief,
yet his heart was too filled with grief.
He felt the decision was his to make,
should he struggle on or make the break.
Break free from the sadness and escape his pain,
which choice would be for his better gain.
He had his share of troubles and woes,
What his final breaking point was only he knows.
No threats no words did he ever say,
about the choice he made on that tragic day.
Just a short note, a few last good byes,
he went off alone with his choice to die.
MAKING THIS WEBSITE FOR MY NEPHEW WAS A PERSONAL JOURNEY. IT WAS TO TRY AND HELP ME, AS HIS AUNT AND AS A SURVIVOR COME TO TERMS WITH THE CHOICE SCOTT MADE. IT IS AS AN EVERLASTING MEMORIAL TO HIM. WHAT STARTED AS A PERSONAL VENTURE HAS TURNED INTO A SITE THAT HAS BEEN VIEWED BY THOUSANDS. ~~~ WE LOST HIM SO YOUNG. ~~~ MY HOPE IS THAT IF ONE PERSON, WHO IS THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE LOOKS AT THIS PAGE AND SEES THE AFTERMATH AND GRIEF THAT A FAMILY GOES THROUGH AFTER A DEVASTATING LOSS SUCH AS A DEATH TO SUICIDE. THAT HOPEFULLY THEY WILL REACH OUT AND SEEK HELP WHERE MY SCOTTIE DIDNT. AS AN AUNT AND AS A SURVIVOR PLEASE ~~~~ REACH OUT AND ASK FOR HELP.~~~
No. of Votes: 298
Avg. Rating: 4.3 Ranked
Avg. Rating: 4.3 Ranked
Meter Started: Nov 8, 2006
